7th November 2009

Got told my assignment was finishing, could be in a week could be in 4 weeks. That was a week ago and it through me into a bit of a spin. My consulting firm was behaving very strangley having offered me a permanent salary which when I accepted they reduced by 10k. They did not [...]

21st October 2009

I’m feeling better, good. I’ve been eating better and the weight stopped climbing, but not losing weight…need to do more exercise. But I am heading in the right direction. Workwise I was down because everything looks bad, and I don’t feel secure with everything happening at work – reducing contractors, no offer of permanency, politics….
But [...]

15th October 2009

Yesterday I had notice I had to attend court today as a witness for my ex for when his exGF called the police on him and had him removed from her premises. He was charged with resisting arrest but the police took him to my place and the handcuffs were on so tight they did [...]

19th September 2009

This week I felt flat and tired. Every morning was hard to get up, Friday night I as going to head to a second bar I decided just to go home. When I got home I crashed. Maybe I am short on iron or something.
Had a great dinner night on Thursday with a large group [...]

13th September 2009

Went out Friday night to meet some people at a bar. First I went to a little bar with a male colleague/friend, then onto the Martini Bar to meet up with a large group of people, some of which I had met before but don’t know well. I met new people, two ladies from Sydney, [...]

23rd August 2009 Bad Weekend

I had a bit of a setback. To cut a long story short I was not happy with my exMIL (who I have stayed very close to) because she witnessed a comment I made to my ex about my ex not yet paying his half of the health insurance bill. I have been paying it [...]

14th August 2009 – I’m back (in more ways than one)

So much has happened since I last posted. It feels like that was years ago.I feel like a new person!
In late May it was my birthday and I bought myself an iPhone. It was a really good decision because I really enjoy it. Apple did so well putting that together. In June we had a [...]

3rd May 2009

I’m feeling good! Really good.  For Friday night I had 4 invititations to a night out, but I ended up going for a drink at afterwork drinks and staying for the night with work related people – had a pretty good night and did not end up at Softbelly where I had intended to make [...]

26th April 2009 (Sunday) A new start

I realised this morning that this is the weekend my ex and I moved into this house last year – the new start he really wanted for us, the new start he convinced me to give him… and it only lasted to Thursday. And that is when I asked him to leave for good.  And [...]

29th March 2009 – Depression

Something has to change. I’m stuck. Its weird. Its not like me. I got through the worst of the marriage breakdown last year, or so I thought. It seems this is a new phase for me. I am not liking it.
My work is insanely busy and I am entirely overwhelmed. I asked for 5 project [...]

25th February 2009

I’m good, I’m ok. I am tired and that is because of work. As a program managaer now I have my challenges, alot of projects, new project managers…lots of balls to keep in the air and a new process. But I will work through that. Working on getting more of a life/work balance.
I remain sad [...]

26th January 2009

Struggling to lose weight. staying 89. something to 90. something. Need to break this. Don’t know how. Tired. Tired of being heartbroken, feeling lost, being too busy at work.

26th January 2009

*sigh* well not much has changed. Love is so hard. He loves me and wants me back, but as much as I want it, I don’t feel its right. Something is not right enough for it. And it breaks my heart all over again.  Sometimes I am so consumed with emotions that I feel I [...]

1st January 2009

3am
I told him no today.  I just don’t feel it in my bones. But I have such deep feelings for him. If I knew it would be ok I would move heaven and earth to reconcile. But after what I have been through and all he has gone through, I just don’t know it would [...]

29th December 2008

Took the dogs for another walk and I also got up the courage to weigh myself – I have lost 0.5kg! Its weird how I find I can eat carbs and fat and still lose weight. I just can’t do it al the time.  If I do I put on weight. But if I have [...]

28th December 2008 He Wants To Reconcile

He wants to reconcile. Seriously. He cries and says I am the love of his life, that he misses his family, that he has lost everything that was important to him.  As you all know, I have always loved this man very deeply. But there is no doubt that he has hurt me beyond what [...]

27th December 2008

I’m feeling a bit lost. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I am unmotivated to do anything.  I feel …lost! I can;t belive I am saying that. But its how I feel. I don’t feel like getting out of bed. I don’t feel like doing anything. I wish I had my old life back [...]